The Dating Life Before Marriage
October 27, 2018
Alright to start off for you all here's the dets: I am a single 22 year old living in Rexburg right now. I can't tell you how many couples I see on campus everyday. Today actually I witnessed someone getting proposed to. It was really cute and everything but I grinned and kept walking. I thought to myself, "I wonder when that day will come".
While I was serving the Lord in Uruguay for 18 months and teaching about the plan that He has for families, I was able to teach it to newly married couples. My point is, I have been thinking about the thought of marriage for quite some time now. It is very common for people to come home off of their missions and get married really fast. Many people think that it's because of their mission presidents who tell them at the very end that they need to get married. But I can say that my mission president didnt urge me to get married right away. He said I need to "date around". I took that is get to know more people and just have fun.
I had a current boyfriend a few weeks ago but we decided to make things not as steady anymore because I realize that I need to date other people and I would like to. What I feel like "dating" is in my mind is that it's the way of getting to know someone. We discussed in class that an official date is when you are paid for, if it was prepared, and it you pair off with the certain someone who asked you on the date. I feel like part of that is true, but in today's society not every date is paid for. For example, if I was to be asked out to look at the stars with a cute boy and we were together and just talking and getting to know each other, if this trip had been planned I would count that as a date. It might be different in everyone's eyes but that is just my opinion.
Sooo what's the deal? Is it bad to date lots of people?
This is a good question. I have asked myself this question before. But I realized and learned that the answer is no. Because we are sent here on earth to get to know people to find things we like and things we match up with. Yes, dating requires compromising and once you find the one who has a lot of good qualities that you surely like, then that is when you want to keep getting to know that person. In my class this past Thursday we talked about the different stages of the relationship. There is a model called the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM). This model had a list of stages or "courtships" when we are in a relationship. They are: know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. I absolutely LOVED this model. It actually made me put into my own realization where I find myself with those types of people in my life that I might want to consume a relationship with. It makes so much sense to me now!
KNOW- I feel like getting to know someone is the most important part of forming a relationship. We find out who the real person is inside when we just focus on getting to know them. I really think I can do better at this one because in order for someone to get to know you, you need to be open. I find myself not really wanting to open up or just not being willing to get to know.
TRUST- The thought of trusting someone is a big thing. Because they immediately have a little bit more of our heart with them. We can form trust bonds with people really easily. But I feel like trust can be broken so easily too. It is very fragile.
RELY- Relying on someone is just when it gets to that point where you know that they are going to do anything for you, that they really care for you. You can tell how a person feels about you if they are willing to do the things you need when you need them. That is one way someone is reliable.
COMMIT- Now this is the big one. I've found that here in Rexburg, lots of people don't want to commit. They end up just going in a circle I think. Once things get too serious they find themselves just backing out of things and wanting to date more and better people. Well, I can promise that we don't know someone completely in just a few months. I know that it takes time.
& the last one is...
TOUCH- I find it crazy that now a days this is higher than getting to know someone! That is not how it should be! I feel like touch is very important and yes I am a touchy person so whoever my husband is one day he will be very loved in that way by me. The moment we touch someone we feel that much closer to them. It should be the priority first to get to know someone then it will slowly get to this point.
well, thats all for this week
enjoy :)
Alright to start off for you all here's the dets: I am a single 22 year old living in Rexburg right now. I can't tell you how many couples I see on campus everyday. Today actually I witnessed someone getting proposed to. It was really cute and everything but I grinned and kept walking. I thought to myself, "I wonder when that day will come".
While I was serving the Lord in Uruguay for 18 months and teaching about the plan that He has for families, I was able to teach it to newly married couples. My point is, I have been thinking about the thought of marriage for quite some time now. It is very common for people to come home off of their missions and get married really fast. Many people think that it's because of their mission presidents who tell them at the very end that they need to get married. But I can say that my mission president didnt urge me to get married right away. He said I need to "date around". I took that is get to know more people and just have fun.
I had a current boyfriend a few weeks ago but we decided to make things not as steady anymore because I realize that I need to date other people and I would like to. What I feel like "dating" is in my mind is that it's the way of getting to know someone. We discussed in class that an official date is when you are paid for, if it was prepared, and it you pair off with the certain someone who asked you on the date. I feel like part of that is true, but in today's society not every date is paid for. For example, if I was to be asked out to look at the stars with a cute boy and we were together and just talking and getting to know each other, if this trip had been planned I would count that as a date. It might be different in everyone's eyes but that is just my opinion.
Sooo what's the deal? Is it bad to date lots of people?
This is a good question. I have asked myself this question before. But I realized and learned that the answer is no. Because we are sent here on earth to get to know people to find things we like and things we match up with. Yes, dating requires compromising and once you find the one who has a lot of good qualities that you surely like, then that is when you want to keep getting to know that person. In my class this past Thursday we talked about the different stages of the relationship. There is a model called the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM). This model had a list of stages or "courtships" when we are in a relationship. They are: know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. I absolutely LOVED this model. It actually made me put into my own realization where I find myself with those types of people in my life that I might want to consume a relationship with. It makes so much sense to me now!
KNOW- I feel like getting to know someone is the most important part of forming a relationship. We find out who the real person is inside when we just focus on getting to know them. I really think I can do better at this one because in order for someone to get to know you, you need to be open. I find myself not really wanting to open up or just not being willing to get to know.
TRUST- The thought of trusting someone is a big thing. Because they immediately have a little bit more of our heart with them. We can form trust bonds with people really easily. But I feel like trust can be broken so easily too. It is very fragile.
RELY- Relying on someone is just when it gets to that point where you know that they are going to do anything for you, that they really care for you. You can tell how a person feels about you if they are willing to do the things you need when you need them. That is one way someone is reliable.
COMMIT- Now this is the big one. I've found that here in Rexburg, lots of people don't want to commit. They end up just going in a circle I think. Once things get too serious they find themselves just backing out of things and wanting to date more and better people. Well, I can promise that we don't know someone completely in just a few months. I know that it takes time.
& the last one is...
TOUCH- I find it crazy that now a days this is higher than getting to know someone! That is not how it should be! I feel like touch is very important and yes I am a touchy person so whoever my husband is one day he will be very loved in that way by me. The moment we touch someone we feel that much closer to them. It should be the priority first to get to know someone then it will slowly get to this point.
well, thats all for this week
enjoy :)
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