Rules, Mapping, & Theories

Well, let me just say.... I have never really paid this much attention to the relations we have in our families but it is SO INTERESTING! I really enjoy learning more and more about it. But okay, so my blog post for today is going to be about family mapping and rules we have in our families. I’m also going to mention a few theories that have to do with family relations too. So stay tuned!!

FAMILY’S RULE! (yes they do)

So I have a family of 7 people and I am very happy to be able to call each of them my siblings. They are some of the most outstanding types of people in the world! Of course that might be a little bias but I know its true. Anyways, so like every family we each have our own way of doing things. We each have our own “rules”. These rules can be either unspoken or rules that the family has discussed. For example: “No eating on the couch. Keep the food in the kitchen” Those are a few examples of rules that my family doesn’t have written down but we just kinda like know. I want you to take minute and ponder a little bit about the rules there are in your family. And it can be anything! So think for just a moment…. Now think about your best friend. How are your family’s rules different? I am almost positive that they will be very different. As we grow up and visit other people’s houses, get to know other people, and learn from them, we notice what kind of things we want in our future families and things we do not want. Am I right? Heres some future rules that I’d like to apply:

*Be each others cheerleaders

*Don’t make mommy pick up your stuff

*Get homework done before playtime

*Pray and read scriptures daily

*ALWAYS believe in yourself

These are some things that I want to do in my family! Make a list of rules you’d like in your family!

FAMILY MAPPING

Have you noticed that each sibling has like a little job that they do in the family?

There’s the boss of course (most likely the oldest). The one who likes to bug everyone. The One who just goes with the flow, and the peacemaker or the “glue” of the family.

I have seen this many times in my family and I tend to have the same one everytime we all get together! It seems as if we fall back into that natural spot that we have in our families. I believe that God sent us in our families so that we could help them and build each other up! It really is a great system that God created. Families are very powerful! So that is how family mapping works. When you realize that each sibling or parent has role in the family of doing something. I’ve also noticed when someone isn’t doing that part the whole family has to compromise to that. So if things change and people change roles, lets just say for example: maturity, then someone is going to affect that mapping relation between the family members. 

This leads me to tell you a little bit more about the theory’s people have studied and found out within the family and the behavior patterns. They show us why families work and how they work. *(side note: a theory just attempts to explain something.)

First we have the CONFLICT THEORY: this is simply full of inequality and conflict. It is more of a power issue. One person wants all the power causing arguments and conflict within the home.

EXCHANGE THEORY: think of it like a balance. It is more of a balance. The person in the relationship wants to get out of the relationship as much as they are putting in it

SYMBOLIC INTERACTION THEORY: This one could cause some problems in the relationship if there is some miscommunication. It involves actions and gestures. Such as a hug, or not giving a hug. People can take that many different ways. That is why communication is so important. Because maybe one person is not at all a hugger. Many times it just takes time to adapt to that sort of thing.

And lastly,

SYSTEMS THEORY:

So this is when the family rules come into play. They realize that there are some sort of boundaries that are maintained to keep things in order!!

Alrighty, I hope you liked what I had to say!! Comment if you would like J