On The Inside

 Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out? Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce Chapter 8 Many couples feel that when their relationship is on the back burner they are in need of a divorce. When in reality, they need to consider that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I love talking about this topic because I know how good it feels to really work hard to get to that break through. And I promise you it WILL come! If you or someone you know is going through a hard marriage, unless their husband/wife is physically/mentally abusing them in any way, they should continue to work together as a team. Having a disagreement is a part of life.  A quote from this chapter that stood out to me was:  " Some divorces are necessary and just, and may actually serve to clarify the moral boundaries of marriage by identifying behavior that seriously violates marriage covenants. But both spiritual principles and secular learning should motivate us to do all we can to k...

The Warm, Happy Marriage: Cold, Hard Facts to Consider  Chapter 7 After reading this chapter, I was very intrigued by the different facts to consider in marriage. Now, if you are currently newly married, I want you to remember what I am going to write about today. I hope that it can make a positive influence on your life today and forever.  Many researchers throughout the times have studied married couples and opinions of being married. They have come to see conclusions that are negative and positive things about the concept of marriage. One being "but passé, unrealistic, and downright stifling." (p. 70). Others defending marriage as being one of the greatest things in this life. I find this so interesting how many different opinions can occur. It means that people often find marriage as a difficult thing and a waste of their time. Then, they end up practicing cohabitation, which studies have shown doesn't mean the couple will always stay together.  However, there are MAN...

  Marital Sexuality and Fertility  Chapter 5 How are you this week? I hope all is well. I know that there are some uncertain things happening in the world and I can see why you would feel such worry. But, do not fear, our Heavenly Father has a plan!  So, for this week's blog post I have been reading about Marital Sexuality and Fertility. But, before I continue with my thoughts I have a BIG announcement. I AM PREGNANT! This is my first baby and I am so full of gratitude! My husband and I are so excited, nervous, anxious, and feeling all the emotions! I think this announcement goes well with the material I have been studying all week!  Now, let's jump into the good stuff!!  When I got married I didn't have any experience with sexual relations before. So, I have learned so much since being married and how important it truly is. It is such a blessing that we have from our Heavenly Father to be able to use it in a healthy and godly way. In the text this week, I wante...

Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage  Chapter 3 I loved reading this week's chapter about the foundational processes for an ongoing, growing marriage. It is truly a blessing we have on this Earth to be here and learn how to manage a good marriage. It gives me clarity that I know our Heavenly Father wants us to know how to do this before we leave this Earth and become like Him with our significant other.  Now I wanted to give you a basic summary of what this chapter has to offer for you in your marriage or even your future marriage. If all you remember after reading this blog post is how to keep that foundation strong then that's perfect!! I know you will be able to! Nurturing love and friendship is such a basic thing in a marriage that needs all the attention that it can have! It is very important to take the time to make sure your spouse is your best friend. Help that relationship by doing things to grow and nurture it. Relationships don't just have the...

Equal Partnership Between Men and Women in Families Chapter 4 I really enjoyed reading this chapter and felt the need to discuss a few main points that can be applied to those of you who are recently married and who are wanting to learn more about marriage.  When you think about the word equality, what do you think it means? Too many people might think that equality is the same as identity or in other words that two things which are equal to each other must be identical. However, this is not the case.  I really like to think of the song Glorious by David Archuleta and tie this into the point I am trying to make about equality. In his song he says,  "It's like a symphony,  just keep listening,  pretty soon you'll start,  to figure out your part,"  I really like this form of words because it helps me to understand that nobody is going to be exactly alike, but we are all equal. We all are here for the same opportunities. We all have the ability to choose....

The ABC's in Marriage and Dating Chapter 2 In this chapter of the book titled Successful Marriages and Families, it was eye-opening to read about the ABC's that help with your marriage and dating life. I found it very intriguing and loved reading this chapter. I am going to tell YOU about the ABC's and then you will be able to apply what you've learned to your life as will I. It started with a man named George Levinger in 1983 who proposed the "five-phase development of heterosexual romantic relationships" (p. 16). He called them this:  A. Awareness or Acquaintance with another person B. Build-up of the relationship C. Continuation following Commitment to a longterm relationship (which may result to marriage) D.  Deterioration or Decline in the interdependence of the couple; E. Ending of the relationship I have been in several relationships and reading about the steps of each relationship here has really helped me to understand why each relationship h...

  What Does Marriage Look Like For You? It has been quite a while since I have posted anything that I am learning in my classes at BYUI. I want to share with you some important takeaways that I have gained since studying the book titled Successful Marriages and Families.  As I continue with this course, each week you will see a blog post from me about this book and the things I feel can apply to us all in relation to marriage. I am speaking to anybody who is looking for the right one and who might be married for more than 50 years!! We can all learn something new right? I can promise you, this information is a valuable and good use of your time to read about. In the first chapter of this book that I mentioned above, it introduces that many young adults see marriage as being a pathway to becoming an adult. I can say that I agree with this statement and in a way, I might have a different view about marriage. I think what many young adults struggle with about marriage is two thin...

By: Rebekah Compas Embrace Your Culture  "The only way to come to a full acceptance and understanding of yourself is by embracing your own culture, quirks, and differences while learning about those around you and exploring, incorporating, and embracing their cultures, quirks, and differences."   Every country has their own culture. In addition, every family and home has their own culture as well. As we are taught within our homes the different social norms, we tend to learn more about other cultures.  When we are influenced by other people's cultures, we can have a change in our self esteem. Professor Ivers said, "The culture which one is born has a certain affect on their self esteem." This is true. Think about this. In different cultures, talents and gifts might be more exalted than other cultures. This would have an affect on the self esteem on some people.  The food, music, activities that a person enjoys are very influenced by the culture...

Differences in Manners Around the World  by: Rebekah Compas Every where in the world, there are diverse ways of showing respect or using your manners. It is interesting how the actions you do can affect the feelings of others towards you. Manners can be defined as: 1) Social behavior or habits and 2) Polite or well-breed social behavior. I wanted to show you a few examples from other countries of different manners that exist and why it is so important to that specific culture.  "Some cultures people don't walk around with their hands in their pockets... But, in the United States this is considered normal." -Professor Ivers BYU-Idaho In Mexico you shouldn't use a fork to eat tacos, you simply just use your hands.  In Germany it can be rude if you use a knife to cut potatoes instead of smashing them with a fork.  In Spain you should enjoy the time after you eat and sit at the table.  These are just 3 ex...

Hey everyone! I really hope you are enjoying the posts I have and continue to read them! I am sharing my thoughts about the information I am studying in my TESOL class. It is very interesting and I hope that while you read, you learn something new! Cross-Cultural Students in the Classroom Throughout the world, it is very popular that students attend a type of schooling or education. In many places, there are different social norms of what is respectful and what is crossing the line. Teachers have to understand the differences that may occur within their own classrooms since they will have many different cultures in their classroom. In Asia, Japan, and South America the children in school show a different way of respect. The people in Europe will have such a high respect for their teachers that they won't look them in the eye. It is their way of showing them the highest amount of respect they can. However, in the United States, that is almost a form of disrespect. Te...

I'm writing two blog posts in one day!! What!? I am just super excited to share more about today's post. Personal Space Differences Do you mind when people interrupt your personal space? How about borrowing one of your personal belongings? The answers may vary differently according to other cultures.  In my opinion, I don't really mind if someone is in my personal space. As long as they are clean, and someone I am related to. So, strangers are definitely not allowed near my personal space! Also, if someone borrows my clothes, I hope they bring them back nice and neat. That's all I request.  I have two sisters and we are all the same size. I grew up sharing clothes with them! It was not at all a problem since we all shared clothes and politely brought them back to each other. If someone didn't do what was required to do after borrowing, they would be informed! (by informed I mean usually yelled at). Here is a picture of my sisters and my mom just for fun!...

First, I want you to think about these two questions... How do you feel when you have reached success? How do you feel when you fail? In our lives, we experience many different feelings. In my last post, I mentioned the word emotions. In this post, I want to talk about how you attribute your emotions . Specifically the feelings of success and failure . In other cultures, everyone attributes these feelings differently. Keep reading if you want to understand how this works! There is a way that humans attribute their own successes and failures. Some tend to do so internally. Others may attribute it externally. What does this mean? To answer that question for you, there is a quote on the article here:  https://wattersattribution.wordpress.com/attributions-for-success-and-failure/ It says: " Bernard Weiner theorized that people tend to focus on the   stability of underlying behavior   and attribute it to either success or failure in life."  So basically, the...

Is there a difference between Individualism and Collectivism?   VS If you take a look at both of these pictures, you kind of get an idea of how individualism and collectivism work. They are different things, yes. They also have positives and negatives about them both. Let's see what they are:  Individualism:  The positives of individualism are:  It allows people to be themselves  It creates a respect for others and who they are in society It allows for more progress  Allows for a more diverse society with many different personalities The negatives or disadvantages are:  Feeling lonely or isolated Being too hard on yourself personally when you don't accomplish something that you felt you could  It could also lead to selfish actions  Now, these are just some of my opinions about the positives and negatives of individualism. I just learned about this today as part of my TESOL classes. Let's now ...

In this week's blog post, I want to continue the amazing teachings of Professor Jon Ivers at BYU-Idaho. You might have read in my recent blog posts how I have been writing all about his discussions in the classroom. It is so awesome to learn from him!  For today's topic, I learned about emotional expressivity relating to different countries and their cultures. As humans, we use our emotions to express ourselves. According to the words and actions of another person, we can understand how they might be feeling. It may show in their faces and movements as well. Different emotions help us feel different as well. If we didn't feel sad sometimes than we wouldn't understand how happiness felt. It is a great blessing that we have emotions. It allows us to really understand the different feelings of our daily lives!  Throughout the lesson that Professor Ivers gave, he said some very interesting points. In the first few minutes, he said,  "E motional expressivity i...

What is miscommunication?  Miscommunication is defined as a failure to communicate adequately. It is actually very common in the United States to have a miscommunication with someone. This might lead to someone getting their feelings hurt, having resentiment towards another person because of a miscommunication, and also someone might confuse confrontation with passion. It is interesting how different cultures communicate and miscommunicate in different ways. In today's blog post, think about how many times you have encountered a miscommunication and how you can improve on communicating adequately so it is less likely to happen again. Communication is key. 🔑 Communication should be an enjoyable experience. It should be a moment of learning and happiness with another person as we have the gift to communicate. One disadvantage that we have to remember is how often people can mishear or misunderstand one another. In my opinion, communication is the only way to make things bet...

My blog post has to do with the differences in cultures and how they consider their values, beliefs, and schedules. Each culture is different and it is beneficial to learn what differences they have. First, I wanted to define two words before I begin so that you are aware-- Monochronic time -oriented to tasks, schedules, and procedures in general Polychronic time -the way someone can multitask and complete many tasks and procedures at the same time.  Using these two vocabulary words we can learn that the cultures in our world have specific ways of doing things. There is a quote by a professor at BYUI about this topic. I want to share it so that we can be on the same page and understand where the world is at according to monochronic and polychronic. Here it is down below.  " My guess is that most of the world is polychronic.  My guess is that most of the world is polychronic.  The United States is monochronic, Northern Europe is monochronic, some other places...

Paradigms:  par·a·digm The word above might seem like a foreign language to you. When I first read it, I did not know how to even pronounce it. The way it is pronounced is written above so that you are able to see. I think it is important that we understand how to say a word before we learn what it means. Anyways, I can't wait to tell you more about the meaning of the word paradigm!  As a current student at BYU-Idaho, I am studying all about different cultures in order to help me be better in the career I am choosing to follow. The earth we live on has over 100 different countries. Each country has its very own culture. The importance that every culture has makes an impact on how a country thinks, acts, or says certain things. The different patterns that humans follow according to their own culture are called: paradigms .  As a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was able to witness a different culture when I served in Uruguay, Montevide...

"A good teacher makes it look easy."  Have you ever wondered how some teachers seem to make things look like they run smooth in the classroom as they teach? Think about your old teachers or professors. In many classes, it seems like second nature after listening to how the teacher teaches. I have had many personal experiences with my elementary and high school teachers being like this. In addition, one of my college classes at BYUI helped me feel the same way. I had the most amazing teacher. She was excellent in providing her procedures and while she taught, she made it look EASY. I was always so impressed. Every time I left her class, I had something to take away and apply throughout my life.  My point is; teachers who are meaningful when they teach make it look easy. A quote about being a meaningful teacher comes from a BYUI professor by the name of Brother Ivers. He says, " One of the threads emerging from the above studies seems to be a considerable lack of depth...

December 8,  2018 This is a topic that I could talk about for a long time honestly. I love learning about why parenting can be difficult and what makes it easier. I also like the thought that one day I will have kids. I will have to understand how to parent them! This class that I am taking right now, has been helping me understand the why and the what of parenting. I find it so interesting actually!  For my blog post this week I wanted to address the purpose of parenting and what are the outcomes of it. We discussed in my class that parenting has a purpose. The purpose of parenting is to PROTECT and PREPARE children to survive and thrive in the world we live in. I really like that purpose because I feel that parents should make it a goal to be able to help their children in that way. I believe that children should feel in the home being lifted up to accomplish the dreams they want to. The words "survive" and "thrive" have powerful meanings to them. Yes paren...

December 1, 2018 What Is The Role of the Father? Many people know that the role of the father is the provider of the home. The father is very important to the family because he is hard-working and always trying to keep the family up on their feet. This could be financially as well as physically. The father also wants to protect the family as much as possible from possible harm. This is why sometimes being a father can be stressful. I believe that God gave all of the men this responsibility before we came to earth so that they could feel like they really needed to protect their families and provide for them in such a way. The last thing that father's do is preside in the home. What does it mean to preside? Well in my opinion they are the one's who oversee things. I am going to talk about the role of mothers too here in a sec and how they oversee differently. But the fathers have to understand that they need to make a lot of the decisions when it comes down to it. Think about...